This is extremely common in students who attend my programs. They’ve been watching videos for years, but have never had the courage to go out and actually talk to girls!
Valentino Kohen – Invisible Game
From “Hello” To “Never Leave Me” – Invisible Game Decoded (Full Manifesto)
Valentino Kohen Full Manifesto
(Note: This isn’t an “open to close” manifesto. It’s a detailed description of how to meet a girl and then make her fall in love with you)
Are you addicted to watching countless videos about “success with women” without taking any action?
This is extremely common in students who attend my programs. They’ve been watching videos for years, but have never had the courage to go out and actually talk to girls!
When you fall into the “knowledge trap” of trying to learn it all before you go out and actually do it, you’re just wasting time.
Even worse, a lot of guys watch so many different videos, from various teachers, that they end up with a catalog of conflicting ideas which make it REALLY hard for them to put what they’ve learned into practice!
Success with women is simple. It requires that you learn just a few basic principles and then take a LOT of action to develop your skills.
I’ve condensed all of my knowledge into ONE video, teaching you how to get the girl you’ve always wanted. My complete manifesto.
If you want to get good at this and stop wasting time, then; pick one teacher, learn from him only and start taking massive action. I don’t mind if you learn from me or someone else. I just want to see you start getting the girls you want in your life!
Invisible Game Decoded
What Is Invisible Game?
“Invisible Game” is the most effective method for creating incredible amounts of attraction in women, through the use sub-communications that are naturally irresistible. Learn and apply my Invisible Game principles correctly and girls will be unaware that you’re trying to “pick them up.” You’ll appear to be a cool, funny guy, who is self amused and free from any outcome. Actually, you won’t appear to be that guy, you WILL BE that guy.
Invisible Game is so inconspicuous, so “non-playerish” that you can use these principles to get girls anywhere! At the beach, the gym, in bookstores, out at nightclubs and even your work!
You’re not going to learn a bunch of lines and techniques, but instead the core behaviors and beliefs that attract women on a biological level. You’ll develop an understanding of social dynamics which allows you to get any girl, in any situation.
The 2 Main Aspects That Contribute To Your Success With Women
Where are your actions coming from? (Psychology)
Your psychology affects close to 80% of your results with women.
Execution
I.e. What you are actually doing.
This section covers the physical/method based aspects of success with women
Psychology
Your psychology is crucial to your chances of being successful with women. It makes up about 80% of how good you are at this. It’s you stopping yourself more than any other factor!
The perception of reality you have is an illusion. Majority of the time what you think will happen, never actually happens!
Once you start pushing your comfort zone and getting in situations that you’ve never been in before, you’ll learn that what you thought was going to happen, usually isn’t the case.
“How do I push myself into these new situations and expand my comfort zone?”
The key to breaking through into new situations is to be OKAY with the worst case scenario. When you’ve accepted the worst fate possible for you, you’ll have no fear undergoing your new experiences. What’s the worst thing that can happen when talking to girl, the thing that every guy fears? That they’ll ignore you. Once you’ve accepted that this fate is possible, that you might get embarrassed, then talking to girls in any social environment becomes EASY!
When you jump into situations that make you nervous or scared (because you expect to fail) and then find out that it’s not as bad as you thought, you shift your perceived reality closer to actual REALITY.
How To Shift You’re Perceived Reality Closer To Reality
There are 2 powerful methods for cultivating a perceived reality that is as close to the “real” reality as possible. (This means that what you expect to happen, or believe is true, is congruent with the Universe.)
Surround yourself with people who are successful in that area of their life
If someone has achieved success in a certain area of their life than you can infer that their understanding of the “rules” relating to that subject are very close to reality. E.g. Someone who is successful at attracting women has reached that point because his beliefs about “success with women” match the truths of reality.
Get around these people and you’ll naturally adopt their beliefs!
Push your comfort zone and throw yourself into new situations.
What is it that makes you nervous about approaching a group of girls sitting down eating dinner? If you’ve never done it before, you’re probably a bit apprehensive about the chances of success. In fact, you probably think it will fail miserably. This, however, is an example of your perceived reality being different to the actual reality and disadvantageous to your results. I’ve successfully approached a significant number of girls having dinner, that in my reality there is a very high possibility for success and I wouldn’t even hesitate to approach in this situation!
Put yourself into situations that you believe wouldn’t work to see what REALLY works.
Mindset
The most important thing you realize is that every single person has the same VALUE. When you meet new people it’s the way you act that conveys your value to them. I don’t do things to raise my value, I just hold it better than everyone else!
When you start reacting you throw your value away. It conveys that the other persons frame of reality is stronger than yours. Once you start reacting, you’re fluctuating in your value, and if you’re talking to someone else who’s value isn’t changing you’ll fall below him/her in a social sense.
Hold your value by not reacting to ANYTHING other people do or say to you. This means that when a girl you’re talking to say’s “You’re ugly, go away” it doesn’t change you’re emotional state (make you sad).
Becoming Less Reactive
“How do I become less reactive?”
With repetition and massive exposure you’ll naturally become less reactive (this means: Talk to a lot of girls!) The more reference experiences you get the less you’ll be shocked by what girls say and the more appropriate answers you’ll have available from past experiences.
“Is there any other way I can become less reactive without talking to girls?”
Yes, meditation.
Meditation helps train you on two levels. The first level is control over your attention and emotions. When you meditate consistently, you strengthen your ability to direct and maintain your attention. This means when a girl gives you a congruence test you have the self restraint and awareness to not react straight away. Instead you able to maintain your composure and respond in an appropriate way that will pass the test.
The second benefit of meditation is that it promotes acceptance and presence. When you accept the present moment and don’t consider the future you avoid fear (either anticipation of fear, or fear of losing a chance). What I mean is this; when you create future projections based on what’s happening you either think it will fail and become scared in anticipation of the failure or you think it could go really well, but then get fearful of stuffing up the interaction. When you accept the moment and set aside an outcome dependence then it’s easy to disconnect your emotions from the situation.
Acceptance of the current moment and freedom from outcome are crucial to being nonreactive. Meditation will help you to train this ability.
What Are Congruence Tests?
Sometimes referred to as “shit tests”, congruence tests are statements or questions made by girls to provoke a reaction in the guy she’s talking (e.g. “You’re weird, go away.” or “Is that your best pick up line?”). This is a behavior that’s instinctual and she generally isn’t even self-aware of it. When a girl congruence tests you it’s a good thing. It implies that she sees you as a potential partner, but needs to know for sure that the personality you’re projecting is real and not a facade.
Mommy’s boys who seek validation from the girl and convey ZERO sexual intent towards girls will not get congruence tested because the girl doesn’t see them as a potential mate.
The more tests you get from the girl, the more chances you have to respond appropriately. This means the girl can experience more of you and a connection can grow very quickly. It’s important for a girl to experience your personality because she can make a judgment of how you’ll act in future situations. She needs to feel comfortable going into isolation with you.
“What’s the right way to respond to congruence tests?”
When a girl throws a shit test at you, you’ll naturally respond in a way that keeps you most comfortable. Your brain will say “hey, this is about to get awkward. What’s the best way to avoid awkwardness? Run away.” And so you do. Or you react in a way that indicates your state has been effected. E.g. You get defensive or sad like your ego’s just been deflated.
The key to passing a congruence test is this;
Stop and consider what the girl said
Accept it
Proactively respond with a something that makes you laugh
The last step is crucial. When you respond using self amusement (saying what’s funny to you), you maintain your emotional state, or even boost it! This is the most important thing for passing congruence tests and getting the girl. It displays she isn’t your number one priority and that you don’t care if she goes home with you at the end of the night or not!
How To Self Amuse
Self amusement means to entertain yourself. This should be your #1 priority when you go out, the girls just add to your fun. When you’re just having fun, pumping yourself up, it doesn’t matter if she likes it or not. She has the choice to join in or let it be.
All you have to do is ask yourself this question…
“What could I say or do right now that would make me laugh?”
And then do it!
Don’t filter yourself, just say whatever comes to your mind later. You know the saying “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission”. Well it’s exactly the same when talking to girls, except instead of asking for forgiveness, you make whatever you’ve just said relatable to the girl (e.g. explain why you said it so she knows your not a weirdo saying random shit.) She has to understand where you’re coming from, otherwise it won’t make sense.
Focus
“It’s not going to work. 50 other guys have probably already approached her, I’ve got no chance.”
Thoughts like this are good. They’re dumb, but there good. Because whenever you’re second guessing yourself it means that every other guy in the club is thinking the exact same thing! I get excited whenever I start to feel uncomfortable because it’s at this point that most other guys would quit. When you are prepared to give up your comfort, for just a moment and push your comfort zone to achieve greatness.
You now have a massive advantage, you understand the power in pushing through your discomfort. You’ll achieve 100x more than anyone else when you’re prepared to face your fears and get a little bit uncomfortable _x0001F609_
In the very beginning I realized that the ONLY way I could get good at this was by talking to girls, lots of them. It doesn’t matter how you feel, just do it. Over time you’ll become desensitized to feeling uncomfortable and talking to girls will just be a natural thing you do. I actually feel weird when I’m NOT talking to girls!
How to lessen your fear 100% by focusing on the RIGHT thoughts…
I’ve said it before, but maybe you’ve forgotten. Your main focus must be to have fun. Amuse yourself! Thoughts like “I’ve got no chance” should never even enter your head because they imply you’re thinking about getting the girl instead of amusing yourself!
Direct your focus using the right questions. I always ask myself “what’s funny about this situation.”
Good questions get good answers.
In the long run you need to focus on the progress you’re making and be happy about it. Enjoy your achievements and learn from your mistakes.
Rejection & How To Make It Impossible
So many guys fear rejection. When a girl “rejects” a guy it conveys that he isn’t enough. It degrades his value and people absolutely dread this. Tony Robbins says that “the biggest fear people have, is the fear of not being enough.”
We crave significance and when a girl takes that away from us it can be painful.
One error in this thinking though is the idea that the girl has the power to take your value away. Holding your value is in your control. It’s dictated by the way you act and react.
It’s only possible to be rejected when you’re trying to get the girl. If you’re focus is on being self amused then the control is in YOUR hands, it doesn’t matter what any girl says, it’s in your control to make yourself laugh.
I’ll touch on this in the execution section, but it applies here too. My style of game is indirect, but full of intent. This means that I don’t verbally say that I like the girl, but instead I convey it with my sub-communications. What I say is normally random rubbish that makes me laugh.
So when I go up to a girl and say “What do you like more, penguins or grapes?” it would be weird for her to reply “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” because I’m not even trying to pick her up. I’m just having fun. Maybe she tells me to go away, so then I’ll use a statement of empathy and then say something else; “Sorry, I don’t want to interrupt you. What about if it’s a fairy penguin?”
All the girl can do is tell me to go away, but she hasn’t rejected me because I wasn’t asking for anything, I was just amusing myself. When she tells me to go away it’s actually even funnier because what I said was so silly! (Remember 4x rule, be persistent. Stop after 4 re-approaches)
Execution
“The definition of stupidity is not taking action on the things you know”
You can get any girl. You just have to put yourself into a situation where you’re around here for a long enough period of time and you MUST have good hygiene!
When starting out, understand where you’re coming from. A lot of teachers think that everyone is coming from the same place as them (e.g. shy guy who struggles to talk to girls). This was the opposite for me, I was overly expressive and would overwhelm the girls. Through my coaching I’ve learned to recognize these differences and mentor guys based on their personal traits. If your teaching this to yourself (a mentor will make the process 10x faster) then you need to be aware of where you’re at and your current sticking points.
3 Critical steps of invisible game method
1. Self Amusement
Come from a self amused place and remember to make it relatable to the girl! When she looks at you with eyes that are a little bit tense it means she can’t relate to what you’re saying. You need to take the pressure off, either with a statement of empathy or by explaining to her why you said what you said (so she understands, it becomes relatable).
2. Intent
Communicate your intent to the girl using sub-communications (e.g. tonality, vocal projection, eye contact, physicality, speed that your talking, how comfortable you are in the environment.) Intent implies that you are an alpha male who would be confident taking her home. It’s a manly frame. In the beginning be sure not to do this in a creepy way!
3. Indirect
This means the words you use don’t convey any intent. Generally a lot of the stuff I say makes no sense at all! But the girl knows that I’m a dominant man who could “get her” if I wanted to. You don’t literally say to her “I’m going to make you mine,” instead you convey it in the way that you talk to her… The way you look at her.
Understand How The Girl Feels…
Realize that most girls are super shy. They feel that they’re not enough. Most of my game is just relaxing the girl. “If you have to leave you can leave, it’s okay.” This takes the pressure off her.
If a girl spends enough time around you and you don’t stuff it up. You just hold your value, she will get attracted!
A Typical Night
I’ll enter the club and start talking to girls.
Self amused, intentful and indirect. When you have fun the girls will naturally become attracted.
Meet the friends
Once the girl has hooked you should ask to meet her friends.
Do NOT talk to the friends in the same way as you talk to the girl. When talking to her friends you want to just be a boring normal guy “Hi nice to meet you. Where are you from? What do you do for work? etc.) This way you communicate you’re a confident guy, but won’t come across as a player.
Go meet other girls (repeat steps 1&2)
At this point I’ll tell her that I want to see her later, but I have to get back to my friends and make sure they’re having fun. (Grab her phone number)
Merge sets
Once you’ve met a few girls and maybe found one you like then you need to find something entertaining to do in the club. Girls won’t want to leave at 12:30AM. This means you need something to keep you preoccupied until it’s “go time.”
I like to walk around with the girl and merge sets with other girls and guys. I create these “us VS them” frames to solidify my relationship with the girl and show her I’m comfortable talking to ANYONE.
Exit with a girl on your arm
When you leave the venue, you must leave with a girl. This is one of the most important steps.
If you don’t already have one with you then text every girl you got a number from and say “hungry”, when she replies (even if she says “no”) call her and try to meet up!
Once you’re outside LEAD
Stop being the silly guy who doesn’t even know how to walk and become the leader. Make decisions and push. Girls love being lead and as soon as you leave the club the power dynamic shifts. Girls need someone to make decisions for them.
Here’s What You’ll Get in Valentino Kohen – Invisible Game
