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Carlos Xuma – Supreme Self Confidence
For those of you familiar with the Three S’s in The Dating Black Book program, Self-Confidence is probably the most important of the three, amounting for perhaps 50% of the total. It is a demonstrated characteristic, as we discussed before, and it is primarily action-based, meaning that you can talk all you want, but the bottom line is that you have to do something to be thought of as self-confident. Men hear words, but women see deeds. She needs to see you behaving self-confident to believe that you are. (This is why bragging is one of the most attraction-killing actions you can take for displaying self-confidence. If you are truly confident, you will show her, not tell her.) Self-confidence is demonstrated by your overall poise:
* You act in ways that are consistent with a self-confident man
* You go after what you want
* You aren’t afraid to speak your mind
* You’re calm, at ease
* You’re not impulsive
* You act, not react
* You’re happy, and other people’s moods never affect that
* You are independent. Not needy or clingy
* You have goals and activities in life outside of women
I think the ultimate example of a self-confident man is James Bond. Yes, I realize he’s a fictional character, but there isn’t a movie in that series that doesn’t demonstrate how a man with impeccable self-confidence would act. The actors that portrayed James Bond on the screen felt their role, and they made him real. Some of his qualities to emulate:
* Imagination – Creative problem solver
* Education – Intelligent and aware
* Sophistication – Knows what quality is
* Aggressiveness – Going after what he wants
* Directness – Telling her exactly what he wants
* Physical – Willing to advance and move forward with women sexually
* Humor – Ability to tease and not take women (anyone) seriously
If there’s one thing I can tell you about your self-confidence that will help you understand your situation with women, it’s this: You will only attract the level of woman that your level of self-confidence will allow.
About Author:
Carlos Xuma is well-known by just about any guy who is interested in getting better with women. A major contributor to his considerable popularity is his authenticity. Carlos is all about helping men be the best they can be, and it shows. Listen in as we deal with a topic that consistently derails both men and women when it comes to dating success. Find out what “games” really are, how to identify them and…most importantly…how you can finally deal with them effectively. Never be anyone’s fool ever again.
Carlos has been a featured advisor and author on ABC Television – “View from the Bay”, CBS Television,European TV, The Allen Handelman “Rock Talk” Radio Show, Maxim Radio, Utopia Radio, WorldTalk Radio Single Again, Cliff’s List, Dating Class, Summum Magazine (The French Canadian “Maxim”), Focus News Fast Seduction 101
Carlos Xuma writes about dating challenges and how to overcome them, all from the man’s perspective. He understands that women have shared information on how to rule the world of relationships since time began. They rule through sexual power and an innate understanding of psychology and persuasion.
Guys need that same knowledge.
You need an ally in this game, and Carlos is here to give you that winning edge. The methods and techniques you learn in his various programs teach you how to be more successful with women by winning at your INNER game. Inner game is the sense of selfconfidence and self-esteem that a true Alpha Man feels when his life is together. He has goals and a purpose.
Character and integrity.
And if a man is going somewhere in life with a passion, women will want to be a part of that lifestyle. No deception, tricks, or hypnosis. You learn how to succeed with women by being the best man you can be – from the inside out.
Carlos’ dating tips and advice for men are seen and/or heard on World Talk Radio, Maxim Radio, Double Agent, Summum Magazine, The Dating Insider Book, Bikini Hangout,
Carlos Xuma is the author of The Dating Black Book and Seduction Method e-books, along with the Secrets of the Alpha Man and the Approach Women Now programs. He also produces and records the Advanced Audio Coaching each month – now in its third year!
Carlos also teaches Seminars in the San Francisco Bay Area for men looking to reconnect with their masculinity and become more successful with women – both field work as well as workshops.
According to Xuma he started out studying the social dynamics and interaction between men and women. This lead him to integrate his martial arts training and Eastern philosophy into a system of explanations and metaphors of human interaction and motivational explanations.
Background
Xuma’s core idea is the Alpha Male, who displays masculine and leadership behavior. According to Xuma, this personality types incorporates useful traits, such as emotional and social intelligence, ambition, verbal acuity, and a keen perception of character. He encourages men to communicate their masculinity and sexuality with both techniques (model verbal and physical actions) and confidence-building to ensure that they are achieving authentic attraction.
Advice on Attraction
Xuma argues that most of the problems men face in romance and attraction stem from a gender disadvantage: women are socialized to be collaborators and communicators from early childhood, while men are socialized as independent and competitors. His instruction aims to rehabilitate of a man’s self-confidence. He describes the three primary parts of a man’s masculine confidence as: 1) Self-esteem (how worthy a man views himself), 2) Self-image (the roles or actions a man can and cannot envision himself performing), and 3) Self-confidence (how certain a man is about his world and abilities in general.)
Furthermore, three parts appeal to a man’s attractiveness to women: 1) Self-discipline, 2) Self-confidence, and 3) Sense of humor. These are referred to as the “Three S’s,” and they form the framework of a man’s approach to interaction with women.
Xuma contends that men in the post-feminist era (born after 1970) lack advantage with women in terms of socialization. Due to the proliferation of media images and – as Xuma states – “Disney programming,” men are confused as to their gender roles and to what women find genuinely and uniquely attractive about men. These attractive qualities, Xuma states, have not changed – only undergone an evolution.
Relationships are no longer what they once were – required for survival, and that the only remaining enticement of marriage and long-term relationships is self-improvement. Xuma is noted as saying: “You will learn more about yourself in the context of a long-term relationship then you will in any other way.
As the internet came along and the seduction community exploded in 2005 to 2006, Carlos continues to stay focused on natural game by drawing out authentic personalities to attract women, and creating your entire Alpha Lifestyle.
Carlos has appeared on/in:
Playboy Magazine
CBS & ABC television
Neil Strauss’ Stylelife
Maxim Magazine
David DeAngelo’s Dating Gurus
The Allen Handelman “Rock Talk” Radio Show
Playboy Radio
WorldTalk Radio
Summum Magazine
Maxim Radio
Carlos Quotes
A lot of guys read too much into how to get a girlfriend. In truth, starting a relationship with a nice, good-looking woman is not that difficult, so long as you don’t blow it right from the start.”
“One of the biggest factors in how to get a girlfriend is not what TO do, but rather what NOT to.”
“So just remember that women need to be touched quickly and confidently when you first meet them. This triggers instinctual responses in her that tell her that you are a sexual man, and that she should forget about the “friends zone” with you.”
